James Barrie the Big Fool and his Idiot Friends
by Imaginationx10
Summary: Mr. Barrie is in modern days. He is a tremendous fool and so are all of his friends.
1. Jail

**A/N: I own nothing from Finding Neverland and when you read this, you will know what I what I mean.**

Barrie woke up one morning. He did not brush his teeth. Intead he wanted to go down to a restaurant for his breakfast. He got in his cube car with flat tires and drove off.

He finally got to the Denny's restaurant. He was wearing an Angry Birds sleeper, and still had eye boogers along with his morning breath. He went and found a table and sat at it. A waiter came up to him.

"Hello, can I help you now?"

Barrie looked up with his eye boogers.

"Oh, yes. I would like the pancake special, the sausage breakfast, the eggs with blueberry pancake breakfast, the French toast with hash browns, and for dessert, a large banana milk shake."

The waiter was having trouble writing it all down, and he was taking a long time.

"Hurry up!" Said Barrie.

The waiter looked at him with shock. Barrie stared back with a strait face, and his eye boogers.

"Am I clear?"

"Uh...yes."

"Good."

The waiter finished, and left.

Just then Barrie's friend, Boyardee came in. He looked over the tables and saw Barrie. He was coming over to the table. As he was coming he tripped on his shoe lace. All the people looked at him and laughed.

He glared at all of them. Then he got up to Barrie and sat at his table.

He called a waiter over.

"Hello, what can I get you today?" Said the waiter.

Boyardee opened his mouth to talk, but his throat was un-clear.

"I...wa...nt...(clear throat)Now he was too embarrassed to order what he wanted, so he tried to say it as quick as possible. "I'll have some pancakes!" He said quickly.

The waiter put it on his pad and left.

Soon the food got there. Boyardee went up to the counter. He had food in his teeth.

"Thank you very much." He said smuggle with his nose up.

The waiter looked at him.

"Oh...you have a little something in your teeth." He said.

Boyardee got emberrased. Then he left as soon as possible.

Barrie finneshed his food and left right away without paying. He had food all over his face and didn't bother to clean it up.

All of the sudden there were police cars chasing him. He stopped and looked at them.

"Oh, hello." He said, not even knowing why they came.

"You, fool. Get it the car!" The officer said as they cuffed him.

They took him to jail.

When he got there, a 21 year old guy with red sun-bleached hair, and freckles, was in the jail cell. Barrie knew who he was.

"Hi, Darren." He said.

"Hi!" Said Darren angrily.

"What are you doing here?"

"I was speeding! And its not like I meant to! I was just trying to play my phone game wile driving, so I accidentally went past the speed limit. And I this is only the tenth time I have done this in one month, so there was no reason for those _idiots_ to put me in jail! Everyone hates me!"

"Oh, yeah. Whatever."

Just then Darren's mom, Ellen, came in. She had long brown hair that touched the ground. She always talked with a whiny pleading voice.

"Mom! Get me out of here! I want to go to my Island with my girlfriend, and never see all these idiots again!" He yelled.

"I'm sorry, Darren I can't do that."

"Stop!"

"But, I can't do that." She said starting to cry.

"I'm never talking to you again!" He said. He folded his arms and turned away.

"Darren!" She said tearfully. "Please don't do this?"

He held his hand up in a shushing motion.

His mom left crying. Then the police guy came in.

"Hey, officer. I have to go to the bathroom. Can you let me out of here for a minute?" Darren said.

"Nice try, kid. I know your scheames. There is a bathroom in the jail cell. Use that one.

"Oh, I can't use that. Its too dirty in there. Just let me go in the woods and I'll be right back."

"No, you don't, you insufferable brat! You are the world's biggest trouble maker!"

"Oh, please?! That's not fair! I _will_ be right back!"

The police sighed.

"Oh fine! But you better be telling the truth!" He said. Then he opened the jail cell and let him out.

"Don't worry I will be right back." Darren ran out side. He jumped over the fence and darted to the woods. "Ha, ha! I always get my way!" He said as he ran.

He ran all the way through the woods to his apartment. Then he opened the door and ran in. He turned on his 82'' flat screen and turned on his wii. He put in "Mario Kart" and started playing it.

"I am so smart." He said to himself. He played video games for 12 hours. He was very loud wile he played.

"Oh, you idiot, Luigi! Take this!" He got a mega mushroom and crushed Luigi. "Ha, ha! You and your stupid super blooper!"

All of the sudden three green turtle shells hit him.

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA! You big moron!"

He started imitating the music in a mocking tone. All of the sudden there was a knock on his door. He looked at the door.

"Who is it?!" He said un-pleasantly.

"It's me!" Said a girl's voice.

"Oh, Elice!" He said excitedly. He jumped to the door to let his girlfriend in. He opened it with a big smile on his face.

"Hi." He said stupidly.

"Hi, Darren. So what's up?: I mean, aside from you going to jail today of cource'." She said smartly.

His face turned white.

"Who told you that?!"

"Your mom."

"Oh, great! Just great! I can always count on her to ruin my life!"

"Darren quit being such a brat. You are totally disrespectful to your mom."

"Well that's cause' she is a bad mom, that tells my girlfriend that I went to jail."

Just then Barrie came up to Darren's door.

"So. I see that you lied." he said.

"Oh, shut up, Barrie! You're still in your pajamas!"

"Well, maybe I will have to tell the police!"

"Well, if you do, then I will ruin all of your Angry Birds things!"

Barrie ran back to his house, so that Darren would not ruin his things.


	2. Halloween

It was Halloween. Barrie's favorite holiday. He just loved dressing up. This Halloween, he had decided to dress up like a giant duck. He walked to his closet and opened it.

"Ah... Halloween. My favorite."

He dressed up as a duck and went out to his cube car. He drove away. He was going to go to a party

On his way, he came across some orange construction cones blocking a road. He stopped his car and got out. He moved the cones out of the way so that he could drive through.

"This is the shortest way to the party." He said to himself.

When he got there, he went in. All of the people were dressed like morons. He went over to the food table. Boyardee was there. He was dressed up like a pirate. He was serving himself some food. Then the hostess saw him.

"Oh, no. Not yet! We will be eating at 5:00!" She said.

Boyardee looked up quickly. He was startled, that he accidentally knocked over a bowl of punch. It flooded the floor.

"Oh, no!" The hostess said.

Boyardee was so embarrassed. The punch traveled over tward his nine year old daughter, Lily. She was dressed up like Tinkerbelle. She had just been bragging about her costume to her friends, when all of the sudden, the punch stained her shoes. She looked down and screamed.

"Oh, Daddy! Look at what you have done!" She cried.

"I'm sorry, sweetie." He said, with his cheeks blushing with embarrassment.

"Oh!" She stomped off crying.

All of the people were gathered around, closing in on Boyardee. He felt very uncomfortable.

"Here, lets wipe it all up with the napkins." One guy said.

"That would not work! All of the napkin's will get used up!" The hostess said. "The whole party is ruined, and it is all Boyardee's fault! Why did you have to think about food?!"

All the people looked at Boyardee. He turned even redder.

"That's it! The party is canceled!" The hostess said.

The whole crowd groaned.

"That's not fair!"

"Yeah! Why don't we just kick out Boyardee?"

"It's just a punch bowl. Who cares about that?"

All of the people kept whining until the hostess blew a whistle. All of the people stopped.

"Everyone, out!" She said.

All of the people gathered their stuff and began leaving. They all glared at Boyardee as they left. Boyardee tried to sneak out without anyone noticing him.

As Boyardee went home, his daughter yelled at him the whole way there.


End file.
